January 22, 2000
At this writing, I'm fairly well recovered from the surgery itself. I'm still tired, which is why I haven't put together a post-surgical page until now.
I had the surgery itself on December 15, 1999. Everything went well - almost frighteningly so. My biggest problem has been nausea keeping me from eating. But that seems to be dwindling with medication and time. I weigh 298 lbs, down from 345 at the time of surgery - that's about 10 lbs a week lost.
May 29, 2000
So far so good - I've lost over 100 lbs. According to the not-terribly-reliable bathroom scale, I weigh 240 lbs. That gives me a BMI of 38.7 - still solidly in the obese category. I will have more accurate figures after my next follow-up appointment with the surgeon in June.
On the other hand, enough has changed that some people have difficulty recognizing me. Others don't - I'm still speculating on why that is; some people key in on different factors, I suppose. I've gone thrift shopping a couple of times for new clothes - it's a strange but good feeling to find things on the rack that fit me. I'm definitely not used to it.
My stamina is much increased. I'm happy.
November 25, 2000
I've been a bit remiss here. Partly because a good deal else has been going on in my life. A change in residence, uncertainty at my job (not as to whether I will have one so much as what exactly I will be doing) and the usual emotional ups and downs that are side effects of living with chronic depression.
As of yesterday I weigh 206 lbs. This is the first weighing to depress me at all, since I had really been hoping I had broken the 200 lb barrier. I realize that it's silly, but… I keep asking myself "could I have been wearing 6 lbs of clothing?" It is cold these days, after all.
The loss has slowed to about 10 lbs a month. My energy continues to increase - a friend I hadn't seen in a number of years was quite amazed by the difference. I walk all over the countryside with an ease I am starting to take for granted. The last time I bought a bra the band size (a.k.a. the circumference of my rib cage) had dropped 10 inches. Speaking of clothes, I've got some outfits that look really nice - including a 'little black dress' that looks dead sexy. I've caused double-takes a couple of times, and I've caught people looking me up and down out of the corner of my eye, in a good way for once.
This is the least I have weighed since before I hit puberty. Since I was in grade school, essentially. It makes me want to send for my medical records from my pediatrician to find out the actual dates and numbers. So in a way it's almost like hitting puberty a second time. Why are those men looking at me? Why are the shop clerks suddenly so much nicer? Why does the barrista at Starbucks flirt with me and give me free coffee? Sometimes a strange frisson of power shivers down my spine, and I wonder how far I could push this sort of thing. The last thing I want is to become vain, but I find myself horribly susceptible to flattery, especially of a flirtatious nature.
On the other hand, some things don't change. I'm still very good at forming emotional attachments with people who don't regard me in the same manner. Now, though, there's not the excuse of "oh, if only I were thin, they'd like me then." That's been a little rocky; I comforted myself for a long long time with the idea that people rejected me romantically primarily because I was fat. Now I have to admit it's just me…
I have collar bones; I've fallen in love with my collar bones. I have hip bones - I keep running into them when I put my hands on my hips and thinking 'oh no, what's this lump?!?' until I remember. I can sit with my legs crossed at the knee, or with my knees drawn up under my chin. Seatbelts fit me. I had to get the photo for my badge at work retaken, so it actually looked like me. I am running out of clothes that aren't dresses again.
I have my year follow-up appointment with the surgeon in December. It's gone really fast, this year.